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Donovan Taylor Hall — Youth Advocate and Educator that Teaches how to Build Positive Self-Identity

Donovan Taylor Hall — Youth Advocate and Educator that Teaches how to Build Positive Self-Identity
About Donovan Taylor Hall

“Donovan Taylor Hall (@donofriend) is a youth advocate and educator that teaches how to build positive self-identity. His work aims to help kids build self-determination, while also learning skills to take care of themselves mentally and emotionally. Donovan’s goal is to help kids and young people build positive relationships with themselves. He teaches his self skills curriculum through in-school speaking events and workshops, youth online coaching, professional development, video game streaming, and self-development online content. He has been featured on the Today Show, NowThis and several podcasts to talk about the importance of positive youth development.”

Connect with Donovan: Email | Instagram | LinkedIn | Twitter | TikTok | Twitch

Listen Now

Listen to the episode now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favourite podcast platform.

Resources Mentioned

donovantaylorhall.com

Celebrate America’s Teachers (The TODAY Show) – Donovan Taylor Hall

Viral Pep Talk – Donovan Taylor Hall

Twitch – Donofriend

The Transcript

**Please note that all of our transcriptions come from rev.com and are 80% accurate. We’re grateful for the robots that make this possible and realize that it’s not a perfect process.

Sam Demma
Welcome back to another episode of the High Performing Educator podcast. Today’s special guest is my good friend, Donovan Taylor Hall. Donovan is a youth advocate and educator that teaches how to build positive self-identity. His work aims to help kids build self-determination while also learning skills to take care of themselves mentally and emotionally. Donovan’s goal is to help kids and young people build positive relationships with themselves. He teaches his skill sets through curriculum in school, speaking events, in workshops, youth online coaching, professional development, video game streaming, and self-development online content. He has been featured on the Today Show, Now This, and several podcasts to talk about the importance of positive youth development. I hope you enjoy this insightful conversation with my good friend, Donovan, and I will see you on the other side. I am very excited. We have a very special guest. This individual is doing amazing work in the educational space across North America. I had him open and do the emceeing at my book launch over a year ago. Flew all the way from the USA for for all our Canadian friends. Donovan Taylor Hall, please, I’m honored to have you introduce yourself. 

Donovan Taylor Hall
Thank you so much, man. I am very happy to be here too. My cheeks are hurting because I’m smiling a lot already, so I know that that’s gonna that’s gonna be a good sign for this. Yeah, my name is Donovan Taylor Hall. I am a youth advocate. I work with kids around empowerment as well as mental health advocacy. I am currently speaking at schools, working with teachers, working with parents, positive youth development specialists, and I have a big passion for helping kids take care of themselves mentally and emotionally as they’re growing, specifically because there’s just not a lot of space for that. And I think that that’s a time where they really need to start cultivating their skills and building their capacity to take charge of their life and to feel good about who they are. And so I believe deeply that kids who feel better do better and all of my work connects back to that.

Sam Demma
Teachers, educators, the Today Show know you as Donovan Taylor Hall or the modern Mr. Rogers. Students and kids know you as DonoFriend. Tell me where the the name came from?

Donovan Taylor Hall
I’m so happy you asked Sam. So DonoFriend is, it really represents what I’m trying to be and what I’m trying to do with young people. I started working with kids in positive youth development programs. And if you don’t know what that is, it’s basically afterschool stuff, boys and girls clubs, YMCA, summer camps. I was involved in all of those things. And the difference between positive youth development and education is that education is really extrinsically motivated. So you have to get good grades, you have to get a good job, you have to go to a good school, while these positive youth development programs really focus on building character and kind of discovering and figuring out who you are. And so I left youth development programs and brought my curriculum with my self skills into schools. And that’s where I was Mr. Donovan for a long time, but I really struggled with the hierarchy and how that affected the kids’ wants to do the work. As soon as a grades are attached to building self-determination or building positive self-identity, like kids just don’t listen. And I think that’s for a good reason because it’s just another adult saying, this is what you have to do. And this work is very powerful when kids are motivated to do it because they want to. And so I left the teaching space and tried to kind of create this public figure of someone that’s like not a teacher, you know, like a mixture between a teacher and a mentor and a friend, but mainly someone that kids choose to learn from. And that’s my big dream is that kids don’t have to be forced to learn this, but they want to because they want to feel better and they want to do better. So, DonoFriend is what I have the kids call me. And it just feels right. DonoFriend is your friend is like my little go-to quote that I never say out loud, but that’s what I think about every time I hear it. 

Sam Demma
I love it. I think so many educators yearn for those moments when a student gives them a gift, like a handwritten note, letting them know how their education, how their classroom has impacted them. And I know that the work you’re doing in schools, you get a lot of recognition from staff and from students, and you’ve even had students turn your nickname into a superhero. Can you talk about one of the coolest gifts you’ve ever gotten after a speaking engagement?

Donovan Taylor Hall
Yeah, I mean, it was, it was, God, I love it so much. I wish I could show you it.

Donovan Taylor Hall
It’s hanging up in my, in my hallway right before I come into the room is really a reminder of my why. I went to a school called Stone Valley and I worked with them for a week, which was a huge blessing, a huge opportunity, mainly because I wanted to be a speaker when I was younger, but I was afraid that all I would do is create positive energy and then leave without tangible things, without follow-up, without actual skills to teach people. And so that’s why I went into the classroom. But I’ve been doing this really cool kind of mixture where I still do speaking events that are skill-based, but I also sometimes work with schools for up to a week. And when I went to this school, I got to just spend time with the community and spend time with the kids. I ate lunch with all these different groups of kids and I went to their classes and participated with them. I did workshops. I did speeches at the very end. And I think that, I mean, I would say that they are probably my biggest supporters right now. Like, every time I post something, one of them is like right there. Shout out to my boy Alex at Stone Valley because literally since the day I left his school, he has been like, come back, come back. And I’m going back next year. Or this year, oh my God, it’s 2024. I’m going back in like three months to see them. They made me this huge, I don’t know, I don’t know, tapestry or what it’s called, but they painted or I don’t know how they did it, but it’s this huge lion who’s like in a superhero pose because the lions are the symbol for their school. And it says Donofriend superhero underneath and all the kids signed it and they presented it to me on the last day. And it has really helped me remember why I do what I do. And it also made me feel seen by young people. I think it’s really hard sometimes to connect with kids in these positions because of, like I said, that hierarchy. It’s like, I don’t want to listen to you. I don’t have to listen to you. The kids at this school are just so receptive to it.

Donovan Taylor Hall
And every time I’m about to go into my office, just seeing it before I even enter, just like reminds me that this is what I’m supposed to be doing and that this is how these kids see this work. And it’s very powerful. And I keep, I’ve moved, I don’t know, like seven times in the past 10 years. I’ve been all over the country. And as I get rid of things like art and clothes and books, I always keep the gifts they give me. So I have like right next to me, I have just like a bag and a huge stack of gratitude notes that kids have written me. But I got to say the Mono Friend Lion is my favorite. They didn’t even know that I’m a Leo. And so I’m like all about lions and they have, they did the mane and everything. So at first I was like, oh my god, you guys know all about me. And then they told me it was the symbol for their school. So, which, you know, it can be two things. Yeah, it can exist at the same time. But I just loved it. And they were so excited to they also gave me a huge stack of like gratitude letters that kids had written me. And it was wonderful. I can’t wait to see them. 

Sam Demma
I think educators’ why is very universal and the why is to help young people, to pour into young people, to build a relationship and then share information in the hope that that information will improve their lives in some way, shape, or form. For the educators listening who are wondering how they can build those powerful relationships with young kids in their classrooms, what are some of the beliefs you have around building relationships with young people? How do you do that?

Donovan Taylor Hall
I say this and I don’t mean this in a condescending way. I think sometimes we assume people know this, but it needs to be said. I think my biggest thing with young people is just treating them like real people. And I think that that’s a huge issue in our society is the way that we treat young people and how the lack of respect and the lack of value that kids feel, how that’s supposed to suddenly go away when they’re an adult, I think it leads deeply to, or like directly to how kids view themselves. And so if you are treated like less than for most of your life, through your rights and through your choices and things like that, then how are you supposed to suddenly click that switch to say, I’m in control, I have power, right? And so that’s a huge part, I think, of how I work with young people. And I have three main things. And the first one is I say, thank you. That’s a huge one. And I’ve got really powerful stories around the impact that that’s had on young people. Just saying thank you for the impact. Thank you for what you’ve done, giving a kid a chance to feel seen, and then also to promote positive behaviors in a way that shows kids that they can have an impact on someone, whether it’s small or huge or one person or a community, that when we start to articulate these things to kids, they can see value in themselves, and that’s how you feel really empowered.

Donovan Taylor Hall
I also apologize a lot. I think that that’s a huge one that shows kids that they deserve respect. So if I’ve made a mistake, or even in moments where things have gotten kind of tough and I didn’t access my best self in that conversation, just coming back and saying like, hey, I know that was tough. I apologize. Right. Or especially if I’m wrong, like and just saying that you deserve to to be seen and you deserve to have someone apologize when they’ve caused harm has been really helpful. So gratitude and apologizing and then just really trying to come from a place of offering. And I think that’s what made education so tough for me because education is very much like this is the right answer. I have it. I need you to get to it. But when you’re talking to young people about their personal lives and you’re talking to them about how they feel and their problems, I think one of the biggest things that frustrates kids is that adults want to jump in and say, I know exactly what to do. I’ve been in this exact same situation. Trust me, I’m the adult, I know better. Just offering and saying like, can I offer this to you? And you can leave it or take it. And most of the times when I do that, kids are so receptive. And sometimes they don’t take it and that’s okay, right?

Donovan Taylor Hall
And so I respect your choice. You know, you are the expert of your life. That’s how I view, like working with kids is helping them build their credibility and being the expert of who they are, what they have to offer, their wants, their needs, like their struggles, all of these things, they should feel empowered to take hold of. So holding space for young people and just offering. I said three, but a fourth one, which is connected, is asking kids what they need. Sometimes kids don’t know, and that’s okay because it gets them thinking. I’ve had times where I’ve asked kids four times in tough moments, like, what do you need from me?

Donovan Taylor Hall
And they’re like, I don’t know. And then that fifth time, they’re like, can you just listen? Or can you give me some advice? Or can I rant and you don’t make eye contact with me while I say these things? And I’m like, yeah. So it builds their capacity to ask for the support and they’re like, I don’t know. And then that fifth time, they’re like, can you just listen? Or can you give me some advice? Or can I rant and you don’t make eye contact with me while I say these things? And I’m like, yeah. So it builds their capacity to ask for the support

Sam Demma
Brilliant. It’s so great. So great. I can’t help but think about the fact that you’ve coached hundreds of young people, had so many calls, and helping them with one of these four things. Can you provide an example of a student that was impacted by one of those four strategies that you would have used on a call with a student or in a classroom or during a speaking engagement?

Donovan Taylor Hall
Yeah, I think one of the things, especially with middle schoolers, high schoolers, it can be a little bit tougher because I think sometimes they’ve built stronger walls, which is okay. I mean, I get why kids do that. I had a young man in one of my classes and he did this thing where he always asked, can I help? And in the beginning of the day, the kids would have free reign to run around outside before classes start. And he would always be outside my door and he would poke his head in and be like, is there anything I can do to help? And I remember like, we kind of made it a butt of the joke for a while where it’s like, oh man, I don’t know why this kid always does this and blah, blah, blah. So I started to just like, you know, observe him and make sure that he was doing okay, because I thought maybe he didn’t have anyone to talk to, but he had friends, he played sports with other kids, like, that didn’t seem to be this issue, but he was always there to offer hand. And so I just said, you know, I’m just going to thank him.

Donovan Taylor Hall
And I wrote him a gratitude letter, which is a huge thing I do for kids, and say this is the impact it has on me on days where I’m running late, and I’m like, yes, please put these chairs down for me, that would be so helpful. And he read it, and I asked him, like, the next time I saw him, I was like, well, what do you think? And he said he had never had adults say thank you before. And he was a seventh grader, and I just thought that was wild because he was actively trying to do good as much as he could and to never be seen and to never have an adult say thank you. I don’t know. I think it’s just a missed opportunity to help him recognize that this is like a positive skill that he’s showing character when he’s trying to support and help other people. And so I think about him a lot when it comes to making sure that the kids I work with feel seen and appreciated by me, even if it’s just like, hey, I know this is a tough conversation, thanks for being in it with me. Just I think it really encourages and promotes more of that positive behavior. Instead of telling people you should do this because I expect this of you, being like this is how this made me feel shows them the power of their choice and it shows them the power of the action and the consequence, which is a positive consequence of stepping out and doing something outside of yourself. So I always kind of credit it back to him. I just remember his face when he just said, like, no, no adults ever said thank you before. And I think for the rest of actually follow up, when he was in eighth grade, I got all of his teachers from seventh grade and eighth grade to record a little thank you to him, to be like, here’s what you’ve done for me. And we put it into a YouTube video. 

Donovan Taylor Hall
And I gave it to him because I wanted, I just wanted him to know, like, and I don’t, you don’t know what’s going on in kids’ lives. You don’t know who they have access to. You don’t know how they’re treated at home, how they feel like in their home life, or even with other kids and stuff like that. And so if I can be one person that says, you had an impact on me and I’m, my life has changed or my situation has changed because you’re in it, that to me is like the ultimate form of empowerment for young people.

Sam Demma
It’s obvious that you have a empathetic, caring, and servant heart, and that empathetic, caring, and serving heart could have taken you in a hundred different professions. Why are you doing the work that you do?

Donovan Taylor Hall
I struggled as a kid, and I really bought into what was told to me, which was get good grades, have friends, right, do what you’re supposed to do and you’ll feel good. But I had such a deep, I was like, this is dramatic. I had a really deep well of sadness as a young person. I experienced multiple losses as a kid and because I felt like it wasn’t okay to be sad or it wasn’t okay to ask for support. I mean, this was a long time ago, so mental health wasn’t even talked about like that. I got disillusioned with school because it was like, this is basically an unpaid job and I don’t have, like, I don’t want to do this, I don’t really care about this. But my mental health really, really deteriorated, like, rapidly like rapidly once I hit like freshman year of high school. But I kept doing what was expected of me and kept telling myself if I do this, eventually I’ll feel better because that’s kind of what was told to me. That’s like really what we talk to kids about. And it just didn’t work. So by the time I got to college, my mental health was so low that it was almost like a no turning back moment. And what really kind of pulled me out of it was I started working with kids.

Donovan Taylor Hall
And I just, I don’t know, I’m like a person that likes to speak good into other people. That’s kind of how I’ve been as a friend. And so when I started doing it with kids and just like hyping them up, like their faces, man, their faces, they were so like receptive to it and it motivated them and it empowered them. And then really getting to do skill building with kids, it was like kind of my saving grace. So I started to learn how to take care of myself in ways that I didn’t learn as a kid. And then that was just aligned with me working with kids. So then I just started to bring it into my work. I was like teaching acting and being like, now we’re going to talk about grassy, or now we’re going to talk about intention setting specifically because I just wanted to see like how kids would respond to it and the responses were amazing and so that’s when I decided like if these skills are out here and we’re waiting till kids are you know in their mid-20s to start healing and unpacking and figuring out who they are then we need to go to an earlier state. We need to like catch them at an earlier age and offer these tools to them so they can grow with themselves versus like growing against themselves, which is what I see from so many kids, the ones who are engaged with their schoolwork, the ones who are disengaged with their schoolwork, the kids who have a sense of purpose, the kids who don’t. There’s just a lack of capacity to take care of themselves and to really feel good about innate humanity versus meeting society’s expectations of them.

Sam Demma
Sometimes people that are in positions that are about serving others, like education, like the work that you do as a speaker and a consultant and a coach, it’s harder to set aside that time to take care of ourselves. Sometimes we forget there are so many educators who spend hours every single day pouring into their students, work overtime, work on weekends, and then burn themselves out. What is your advice for an educator who is putting the student at the heart of everything they do when it comes to making sure they take care of themselves?

Donovan Taylor Hall
I think one of the biggest things that I think we need to recognize is that kids are watching us. Kids are watching us and they’re taking views from us on how to be and how to show up. And especially with social media, like kids are aware of how teachers feel and what teachers are going through. And when I built relationships with my students, they wanted to offer support and things like that. But when I first started getting into this in the classroom, I had a huge wake-up call because I was like, I’m here all the time. Like if you need me, I’m here, come talk to me. And kids did.

Donovan Taylor Hall
And it was great. And it also completely sunk my mental health because I was so worried and stressed and not only about their grades, but how they felt and what’s going on with them and how do they feel about their future and how can I take care of them. And I had a boss who was like, you have to stop. Like you have to. And I remember being so enraged because it was like, bro, this is what I care about. And I didn’t understand at the time that he was trying to warn me that like, that’s not sustainable. And then how do I create boundaries that help me protect myself? And so when I think about kids watching me, I was talking with a group of my kids, they’re seniors now. And I was talking about when I taught them in seventh and eighth grade. And I was just having a candid conversation. I sometimes do a growth group with them. And I asked them, like, what is something that you remember from us working together? And three of them were like, oh, that week you took off. And because you were really struggling. And I like told them, like, this has nothing to do with you all. I love you all. I’ve just been working too hard. I need to take some time away. And because they were worried, like one of the kids said to me back then, like, are we being too obnoxious? And I was like, no, it’s not you. I just like I’m not feeling good and I need to take care of myself. And so to have these three students years later be like, that’s what they remembered. That was something that stuck out to them, shows the power of influence. And I think working with teachers and kids, like articulating boundaries, articulating needs in safe ways, humanizing yourself as much as you can that protects you and keeps you safe, I think can be a really powerful experience for young people to see someone advocating for themselves because where else are they gonna see that, right?

Donovan Taylor Hall
I think that’s just a really powerful thing. So I think it’s that idea of like, my mom told me this phrase when I was a kid, which is, you can’t be a shoulder to lean on if you’re not standing up straight, which has its own issues just in terms of like ability, right? But the thought behind it really stuck out to me because when I was in my 20s and I was doing all this work, the second lowest I was ever at my life was because I was doing like six jobs and they were all dedicated to working with young people. And I was just pouring and pouring and pouring. And that led to me having to drop out of grad school. It led to me having to like sleep in my car for a few days because I just was not taking care of myself. So I had to understand that the work will always be here and you won’t.

Donovan Taylor Hall
And so you have to be responsible for taking care of yourself. So it’s sustainable. And this connects back directly to why I teach this to kids is like, no one is going to force you to take care of yourself, right? But if you want to be the best version of yourself and show up in yourself grounded and connected to your why, you have to take care of yourself. You are not an infinite source of energy. And especially as I get older, speaking at schools and doing all these things, I’ve realized pretty quickly I don’t have the same energy I did when I was younger. And so that means I got to take more time to cultivate and like take care of myself so I can go out and do these things and be the person that I want to be. And it used to feel selfish and now it feels great. I used to need to be around people all the time and now I will do like a back flip if someone tells me I get a week to myself just to have some time with me. I’m like, bro, I spent so much of my life being around other people. And as I did the self love work and grew a good relationship with myself, I wanted to spend time with myself the same way that you would want to spend time with a best friend or a partner. When you have that care and that love for that person, you want to spend time with them. And so spending time for myself, shutting things off, separating Donofriend and Donovan, right? And understanding that Donofriend, Donovan, Donofriend doesn’t exist without Donofriend. That’s like the huge, like that’s the biggest thing I had to tell myself. It’s like sometimes I get so worried about am I doing all the things I could be doing? Is this dream working? But like if Donovan goes, Donovan is gone. There is no Donovan, right? And so if I don’t take care of Donovan, then I’m indirectly not taking care of Donovan, if that makes sense.

Sam Demma
Yeah, if educators don’t take care of themselves, there’s no way they can impact the students in their classrooms. They won’t even be in the classroom. They’ll be somewhere else trying to recover or heal.

Donovan Taylor Hall
Yeah, and it’s tough because, you know, in America, how teachers are treated in terms of, like at one school I worked at, it was like a crazy amount of the staff members had second jobs just to make ends meet. And so I think that I also, it’s really important to acknowledge that that responsibility is not all on teachers, right? Is it when you’re put in these conditions where you’re overworked and you’re underpaid and you’re not getting the support that you need and the expectations for you are too high, right?

Donovan Taylor Hall
And unrealistic. And then they try to do the whole like we’re a family here and and kind of bend the teachers want to help and try to use that to almost manipulate teachers into doing more, then that responsibility shouldn’t be put on the teachers, right? If they had the space and they had the time and the energy, I’m sure a lot more teachers would take care of themselves, but that’s just how the system has been built around them. So it’s kind of like, I got to tell you, Sam, it’s kind of like when schools are telling kids, like, practice self-care, and then they are the ones that are putting the stress on kids. Like, it doesn’t, it’s like, it’s your job to take care of it, but what does self-care for kids look like? What can kids actually do for themselves to take care of themselves without having to bump into other people’s expectations of them? And that’s how I think about it with teachers. I have so much respect for the teachers that have stayed, and I have a lot of respect for the teachers that left. You gotta do what’s right for you. And if you can’t show up in your true self, then you gotta like handle that. And if that means stepping away or advocating for yourself more, you gotta do what you gotta do. But that responsibility is not all on teachers. And I think it’s unfair for us to shout self-care at teachers without recognizing these overarching implications and conditions that cause teachers to burn out.

Sam Demma
It’s such a good point. What does these days self-care look like for you?

Donovan Taylor Hall
Oh, man, reading and not be clear because I tell people I read all the time. I will read like between three to five books a week. I’m not kidding. Like I am obsessed with reading and then people will be like, oh, like, what are you learning? And I’m like, I don’t really read to learn. I read to be entertained straight up. You’re the first person I’ve said this to on a podcast. I read horror books. Those are my favorite. Like if I had to just pivot completely and do something different, it would be like reviewing horror books because that’s something that takes care of me. But I picked that because it has nothing to do with my work. It’s like, it’s thrilling and I love these stories so much, but it’s also time I get to spend with myself. And so yesterday I went to the library and checked out 13 books. Just excited to be there. So that’s a huge one. And then recently I started IACing, which I really like being in nature. I think anytime I can kind of shut other people out and just be with myself and then follow up spending time with people that I love and people that I care about. Those are like the three main things, doing things that I enjoy, spending time with people that I care about. And then hygiene, like mental, spiritual, emotional, physical hygiene, like taking care of myself, my practices that help me feel sustainable, help my energy feel sustainable. Those are the ways that I do that. And I sleep a lot, which I was, I felt bad for a while, but then someone, a 17 year old kid that I was working with, who I’ve been working with for years, brought this up where it was like, when kids go through puberty and they’re growing rapidly, they need sleep. And he specifically said, think about how much you’ve been doing in the past two years. Like you’re basically growing at this like accelerated rate. And so it makes sense that you need to sleep. And this is from a 17 year old, a 17 year old that I worked with when she was in middle school telling her the same stuff. And I think that there’s a lot of power in sharing those conversations with young people. It’s the human condition, and kids are human. And it sounds silly to say it, but it needs to be said, because sometimes they’re treated like they’re not.

Sam Demma
It sounds like that 17-year-old made you feel seen, and you’ve spent most of your life striving to make other people feel seen. Tell me what this phrase means to you going into 2024, pushing past the fear of being seen.

Donovan Taylor Hall
Yeah, I, as a young person, like, I was considered like a gifted child for a while. And then when I didn’t do well on tests, it took me out. And I had this idea that I had to be good all the time. And that’s really what protected me as a young person. And good was different from whoever I was talking about. So for the adults, I got good grades. I was in orchestra, I was in German club, right? I had friends. And then when in high school, I started to do all the things that my friends wanted to do and really kind of like wanting people to see me as good. And that really made me hide I was able to hide a lot of how I felt. And when I did those things, I wasn’t able to take care of myself because I wasn’t acknowledging how I was feeling. And that, when I don’t acknowledge how I feel, when we don’t acknowledge how we feel, it’s hard to get the support that we need. That’s like the first step. And so, you know, I started doing TikTok videos because the kids told me to, and it was the first chance I got to show teaching this curriculum without exposing kids, which is like, I think, a huge problem with some of the social media, just like using kids for likes, unless it’s really empowering and positive or even if they’re talking about stuff like safe spaces for them to do that.

Donovan Taylor Hall
And then I didn’t know that where that was going to go, but I told myself I was going to take a year off and just grow. I was like, I’m pushing past this feeling of I have to be good, this perfectionism feeling that has only made me stay in my lane for most of my life. I only do what I feel like I’m good at and I don’t try other things because I don’t like to feel bad at something. And then I was gonna take a year off, like literally, and just live in my mom’s basement and like make YouTube videos and stream on Twitch and try to grow my content. And then the Today Show found me a month before I left. And it was that same experience that when I was a kid of like, look at all these people who have these high expectations for you. I mean, being called the next Mr. Rogers, when I didn’t even know what I wanted to do, put so much pressure on me. And so I started to struggle with my content. I really, I started to like be afraid to take chances and take risks and do the things that I know that I wanted to do, these projects that were really important to me, the ones that really called to me, I was afraid to do it because people said, this is what we like about you. And I stuck to that. And this is something that in the past few months has really changed for me of like, I don’t wanna look back and have these projects that I’ve put so much heart into never come into fruition because I was afraid of being seen as vulnerable.

Donovan Taylor Hall
I was afraid of not looking good all the time. And, and to be clear too, this is the weirdest part about it. Somehow, in the three years I’ve been on TikTok, I don’t, I don’t get negative feedback from people. Like sometimes people will question something and you can have a conversation, but you’ve seen the internet. It can be pretty brutal, right? Nothing. So I was just like, had these videos that hit a million views. I had like three videos that hit over a million. And I was so afraid of taking chances and taking risks that I just hid. And that also spilled into my personal life of like getting closer with people and doing things that I really wanted to. I had to push past this fear of like being seen. And DonoFriend is great because DonoFriend represents the work, but DonoFriend is a fraction of who I am, and I’m trying to push past that fear of being vulnerable and being seen truly to do the things that I want to do.

Donovan Taylor Hall
So specifically with my work, my biggest thing is like, I like to laugh. Humor is a big part of my work. Like my kids, when they told me to make a TikTok, they wanted me to make funny TikToks. They wanted me to like show the funny moments in class. And I got stuck in this box that I don’t know who put me in it. I know I kept myself in it, but I got stuck in this box that was like, I got to be emotional. I got to do like this Mr. Rogers thing. Like I got to just be soft and gentle. When in reality, like that’s not really what brought kids in, you know, kids were brought in by my fun and my humor. And so this year, like that’s what I’m pushing for is to laugh more and have fun and to show that side of myself and kind of bring kids in that way versus like thinking I have to stay in my lane, I don’t wanna look back, I don’t wanna look in the office, I don’t wanna look like I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t wanna let people down. I, the Today Show was a huge opportunity and Hoda is amazing. I’ve never been starstruck until I met someone, until I met Hoda, but like even feeling like I was letting these people down who were like taking a chance on my story, but in reality, there is no timeline. There is a timeline that we create for ourselves. And I just feel it deep in my bones.

Donovan Taylor Hall
Like I’m ready to be seen. I don’t want to hide in my room anymore. I don’t want to hide behind safe, you know, things. I want to put myself out there, especially if this is something that I want to like teach kids. So I’m using the skills that I teach young people to build myself up, to be able to go out there and struggle and grow and succeed in the ways that I want to. So that’s really what the theme for my year is. This is the year I want to be seen, like Donovan and Donovan equally. One thing I admire about you is your intention to serve the world and serve the people around you. 

Donovan Taylor Hall
I’m so excited for 2024 to see what you do and how things unfold in your world and for the students and teachers that you impact. Keep up the amazing work. Thank you for letting your light shine. Keep it shining because the world needs your energy and it needs your authenticity and it needs both Donovan and Donald Friend. If someone wants to connect with you after listening to this podcast, they’re feeling inspired or have a question, what would be the best way for them to get in touch with you? 

Donovan Taylor Hall
Social media is the best way right now. Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok are where I post my content. And I also stream video games for kids. That’s something that I really enjoy doing, because the skills that I teach kids show up very similarly in video game playing. So DonoFriend across everything, if you type DonoFriend in, all my work will pop up, but I’m always hoping to connect with other people, especially educators, and for any educator listening, I just appreciate you on such a deep level. I may not know you as a person, but for you to give so much of yourself to help people grow, and especially people who may not recognize it or may not articulate these things to you, it’s huge. And just going back to what I said, is if you were looking for one thing to do to build relationships is really try to see kids, really try to see them as individuals and look for opportunities to articulate what you see in them to them.

Donovan Taylor Hall
Because kids are looking, kids are looking for ways to understand themselves and we’re in a really unique opportunity to provide perspective for them. So thank you, Sam, you’re my boy, I appreciate you always. But please follow up if you have any connections or thoughts, I’d love to hear from you. or thoughts, I’d love to hear from you.

Sam Demma
Keep up the great work, my man, this is awesome.

Join the Educator Network & Connect with Donovan Taylor Hall

The High Performing Educator Podcast was brought to life during the outbreak of COVID-19 to provide you with inspirational stories and practical advice from your colleagues in education.  By tuning in, you will hear the stories and ideas of the world’s brightest and most ambitious educators.  You can expect interviews with Principals, Teachers, Guidance Counsellors, National Student Association, Directors and anybody that works with youth. You can find and listen to all the episodes for free here.

Ryan Keliher BA, BEd, MBA, – Teacher, Author, Coach and Teenage Motivator

Ryan Keliher BA, BEd, MBA, - Teacher, Author, Coach and Teenage Motivator
About Ryan Keliher

Ryan Keliher (@superstarcurric) BA, BEd, MBA, is a high school educator who has spent the past eleven years teaching, coaching and motivating teenagers. He is a former valedictorian, university basketball captain, and Academic All-Canadian who is passionate about student leadership and personal development.

Keliher resides in Prince Edward Island, Canada with his wife Siobhan and their baby boy, Rafael.

Connect with Ryan: Email | Instagram | Linkedin | Twitter

Listen Now

Listen to the episode now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favourite podcast platform.

Resources Mentioned

Charlottetown Rural High School

Ryan’s Personal Website

The Superstar Curriculum

The Hate you Give

The Transcript

**Please note that all of our transcriptions come from rev.com and are 80% accurate. We’re grateful for the robots that make this possible and realize that it’s not a perfect process.

Sam Demma (00:00):
Welcome back to another episode of the High Performing Educator podcast. This is your host and youth speaker Sam Demma. Today’s guest was actually someone who was introduced to me by a former guest, Melanie Hedley, a teacher from Bluefield High School introduced me over email to this gentleman named Ryan. And I’m so glad she did because the conversation we had was phenomenal and I can’t wait to share it with you.


Sam Demma (00:59):
Ryan Keliher has his BA his BEd , his MBA, and is a high school educator who has spent the past 11 years teaching coaching and motivating teenagers. He is a former valedictorian university basketball captain and an academic, all Canadian, who is passionate about student leadership and personal development. Ryan resides in Prince Edward Island, Canada with his wife Siobhan and their baby Raphael. He is also an author, an author of a book called the superstar curriculum. It’s a phenomenal book. He’s sold over 2000 copies and today we talk about so many different topics, things that come directly out of his book, but also his own philosophies on student leadership and how to navigate these difficult times. I hope you enjoy this conversation. I will see you on the other side. Ryan, thank you so much for coming on the High Performing Educator podcast. Huge pleasure to have you on the show this morning. Can you start by sharing a little bit about yourself and why you got into the work that you do in education today?


Ryan Keliher (02:01):
Sure. First of all, I just wanna thanks. Thank you a lot for having me on today. I’m really looking forward to being on the pod and just a little bit about me. So my name is Ryan Keliher and I am a high school teacher and I’m 14 years into my career and I teach out of Charlton Rural High School in tiny Prince Edward Island. Nice. Why I kind of got into education? I was really fortunate to have had some awesome teachers when I was going through school and they made me really like being in school and they had a really positive impact on me. And as I grew up, I kind of just felt like I’d like to that kind of do what they do. I really, I really admired them. I really thought what they did was meaningful and from a fairly early age, like in high school, kind of, it was my, it was my goal to become a high school teacher. So I really didn’t even pursue a ton of other options after I kind of got hooked in by these engaging teachers. I kind of said, yeah, you know what? I think I wanna do that too.


Sam Demma (03:07):
Ah, that’s awesome. What did they do? Like what did those teachers do for you that left such an impression on you and pushed you to pursue this path?


Ryan Keliher (03:17):
I think what, when I think of kind of the two or three teachers that stand out the most you know, they, they were really knowledgeable in their subjects, but more almost Mo I would say more importantly, they really made me and my fellow classmates feel valued and welcome in class. And when you added that combination in where students felt like they were valued in the classroom, plus they were gonna get material that, you know, from teachers who were knowledgeable in, in their content areas, it really drew me into the classroom. And, and it was a place that I liked to be at a place I liked. I liked to come every day to learn.


Sam Demma (04:00):
Wow. That makes sense. And, and I think right now that’s a challenge that all educators are, are faced with. It’s tough to do it virtually. Now, maybe in PEI, you guys might be still working in the classrooms, but what are some of the current two things, challenges and opportunities during this time, because I think both are present and I would love to some insight on, on both sides of the coin.


Ryan Keliher (04:22):
Yeah. Well, PEI has, we’ve been very fortunate to kind of, of to keep COVID 19 the spread of it at bay here on the island. So we’ve been quite fortunate. But that, that being said the last two weeks actually my high school has moved to online learning leading up to leading up to the career break. So, you know, it has presented its challenges, but like you said, with, with those challenges come opportunities. I think with education, the biggest challenge, whether it’s virtual learning or in person learning is developing that connection and maintaining that connection with students. And then kind of like what I alluded to the, you know, the teachers that I admired most growing up, they made that connection first and then that made learning a lot easier. It made engagement a lot easier. It made buy a lot easier.


Ryan Keliher (05:10):
So I think that gets more difficult when you, when you move to the remote learning model. So it’s about keeping that at the front of mind as an educator, but how can I still maintain these connections with my students when I’m not seeing them day to day? So for me, it was, you know, little checking emails here and there creating some engaging videos to kind of start class you know, whether they were funny or fun or, or just a little different. And then, and then, you know, using that as kind of the springboard to the content of each lesson, but showing that you care and showing that, that, that you value their time you know, whether it’s in person or online, I think is the most challenging, but it, it kind of, I important opportunity in education and when it comes to opportunity, I’m a big believer that, you know, I think it’s Napoleon hill who says, you know, your biggest opportunity is where you are right now.


Ryan Keliher (06:07):
So, you know, as, as educators or as students, right, it’s important that we think about what we can do in the moment to kind of have actions that create positive reactions for our students. So whether, like I said, it’s a welcome video that puts a smile on somebody’s face, or whether it’s a really well laid out plan that is going to be challenging for students, but you’ve thought about what supports you can put in place. And at the end of it, they’re looking back and saying, you know, that was really tough, but I felt I was able to do it with, with supports in place. I feel like I’ve grown from it, you know, it’s, it’s how, how can those actions create those positive reactions?


Sam Demma (06:49):
And right now, maybe not yet in PI, but sports have been canceled as well postponed, or, you know, they practiced virtually through zoom all in their basements. You, I know you growing up were a big athlete. I played soccer, you played basketball, saw the Steve Nash picture on your page. I loved it. You dedicated the first part of your book to building character, and I would assume that sports helped you build your charact to a huge degree. Mm-Hmm how did sports have an impact on you and how are we, how can we continue to build young people’s character through this time?


Ryan Keliher (07:27):
Okay. Yeah. So with, with sports, I mean, sports played a huge part in my life. And as far as character development, like it, it played a really important role. And with, with my book, you’re right, the first quarter of the book is dedicated towards character development and then it progresses into have in my development and some opportunities for leadership. But as far as character development goes, I, I often share kind of my leadership story with, with my students. So I was a kid I grew up and I was playing hockey and, you know, I was pretty good hockey player, but I definitely wasn’t the best player on the ice. And, but it seemed every year I would get the opportunity to be the captain or the assistant captain on my hockey team. And I, and it just kind of became the norm. And I never really understood why I just kind of was that per, who would become the captain or the assistant captain.


Ryan Keliher (08:21):
And then I went to junior high and I started to play basketball and the same thing would happen. I’d be thrown in the captain role of the team. And then I went to high school and the same thing would continue. And then in high school, I was named the valedictorian of my high school class. And again, I would always kind of wonder in the back of my mind, I’m like, why am I always thrown in this role? Because, you know, I don’t feel like I do anything exceptionally special as a, as a leader, but people always seem to put me in this role for some reason. And it, and it never really, even, it never really clicked until I went to university and I played university basketball. And so I was 17 leaving high school, going to my first year university. And by Christmas time I was named the captain of my university basketball team.


Ryan Keliher (09:14):
And we had players who were 25, 24, 23 years old on it. And I’m thinking, how, how come I am the captain of my team? And it finally, that’s kind of when the light bulb went off and all it was was that my personal bar, as far as character went over time, whether it was through instilling values fr from my parents was high. And I, I cared a lot about being a good teammate. I’m a big believer that, you know, the only thing better you can have than good teammates is being a good teammate. Hmm. Think better. You can have than good friends is being a good friend. I think that really helped me pursue a opportunities in life. It opened up a ton of doors and it allowed me to lead by example a lot. And like I said, there was nothing ever special about it, but I was always willing to do my best. I was always willing to set the bar high and is always willing to cheer and help others along and over time. I guess people notice. So, you know, when you’re thrown into these opportunities through sports, it there’s the skill development, but there’s the character development that occurs that is equally important. And as you grow older and you may divert away from sports that character develop, it becomes even more important than maybe the skill development, you know, ever, ever was.


Sam Demma (10:41):
And without sports present at certain times, especially right now, how can we ensure that we’re still helping young people build their character? Is it by giving them unique opportunities or pushing their boundaries? Yeah. I’m curious. What, what do you think?


Ryan Keliher (10:56):
Yeah, I, I think it’s about giving them opportunities for growth. Like for me, school, you know, is always about growth, more than grades. And sometimes students don’t see it that way. And, and, and sometimes educators don’t see it that way. Cuz we do have that responsibility to kind of assess curricular content. But when I think of my 14 years and the most important conversations I’ve ever had with students, very few of them were curricular content related. And the most important ones that stick out were always character related or, or opportunity related or, you know, goal related and the more teachers, you know, and, and, and educators think of their students in front of them. As, as people who are gonna go and do great things in a variety of fields I think you, you can be a little bit more per perceptive about developing that character education in the classroom while still, you know, making sure the content of your course is, is, is covered and, and covered to a high degree. You know, I’m not trying to discount the importance of curricular content, but it’s, it’s everyday success principles, you know, are not explicitly taught in class, but the opportunities develop to develop the, those principles are abundance. So teachers have to be aware of that and you know, are able to kind of pull those threads when the opportunities present themselves for students.


Sam Demma (12:20):
I love that. And I’m curious now, too, as well, you mentioned Napoleon hill, you have your own book, the superstar curriculum. What prompted you to write that? Was there a moment in education where you thought this is needed for, for young people? It was in a personal challenge. You set for yourself, where did that come from?


Ryan Keliher (12:38):
It, it happened when I was finishing my masters of business. My so when I finished my MBA, I was kind of in writing mode cause I just finished my thesis and I was doing a lot of journaling at the time. And I noticed a lot of my journaling had to do with these important convers that I’ve had with students over the pro the over the last decade. And a theme kind of started to emerge on how a lot of these conversations had to do with character. And they had to do with leaders, personal leadership, and they had to do with seizing opportunities and they had to do with developing strong habits of mind and thought, you know what? I’m a big non-fiction reader. And in my opinion, there, there weren’t a ton of non-fiction self-awareness books out there for, for young adults.


Ryan Keliher (13:27):
So I thought, well, maybe I’ll go and create one. And so I, so I did create the superstar curriculum and the idea behind superstar is that what, what I’ve come to learn over the years is that, you know, the biggest superstars in our lives, although, you know, we often think of the major celebrities or sports stars or movie stars. But when we think about the biggest superstars in our own lives, they’re the people who are much closer are to us, they’re our parents or our coaches or our teachers or our friends. And the, the reality is, is, is if, if that’s the case, then if you put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you might be the superstar in somebody else’s life. Hmm. So it’s just about the profound power we have to, I packed others on a daily basis and it happens at, at the ground level. And it does expand out to, to, you know, the stars that we’re talking about from Hollywood to sports. They’re tremendous inspirations, but the reality is the, the day to day inspirations that we have are all around us, including all right, ourselves.


Sam Demma (14:36):
Oh, love that. And where can people find that resource if they want to check it out? I think you offer an online version for free and then like a paperback version and a discount right now, where can they find all that information?


Ryan Keliher (14:47):
Yeah. If they wanna check out ryankeliher.com it has kind of all the information there, the book’s available on Amazon, but if, you know, if a school or, or an educator was looking to a bulk order, I would recommend contacting me cuz I can probably get you a better rate than what, what Amazon could provide. So yeah, so ryankeliher.com and you could check me out there or on Instagram @superstarcurriculum.


Sam Demma (15:13):
Cool. And if you could go back in time and speak to younger Ryan, when he just started teaching, what pieces of advice, knowing what you know now would you have given yourself?


Ryan Keliher (15:26):
I think for me, I, what I always try and keep in mind is, so my grandma, there was a teacher and I remember vividly that a conversation we had. So she was 87 at the time. And she said, you know, Ryan, now that you’re a teacher and your job is to teach. It’s really important that you also remember that your prime married job is to learn. Hmm. And that always stuck with me. And I think moving forward for, for anybody who’s going into education is to keep that kind of front of mind because COVID changed everything, new practices are going to change everything technology’s going to change everything. So the, the way kids interact is constantly changing. So educators have to be willing to learn and adapt year over year, whether they’re, you know, you’re just adding little tweaks to your practice or there’s something fundamental that has to, you know, involve you making a major shift in your practice, the importance of teachers having that willingness to learn is paramount.


Sam Demma (16:37):
I love that. And one bonus question, just for fun. What, what books are you reading right now? Is there anything that’s been interesting you or you’ve been cracking open?


Ryan Keliher (16:48):
Yeah, actually I just I’m into the hate you give right now. And I I’ve, I’ve just kind of started it, but it’s been tremendous thus far and I’m looking forward to reading it. I don’t read a ton of fiction. So it’s, it’s a good opportunity over the holidays to kind of break into that. And I’m, I’m more of a non-fiction reader for sure.


Sam Demma (17:08):
Awesome. Ryan, thank you so much for taking some time to come out on the show. I really appreciate it and, and have an amazing holiday season with family and friends. And I look forward to keep continuing to follow your journey.


Ryan Keliher (17:20):
Great. It was great talking to you. It was nice to meet you and I’ll be following your journey as well. Happy holidays.


Sam Demma (17:26):
And there you have it. Another amazing guest, an amazing interview on the high performing educator podcast. As always, if you enjoy these episodes, please consider leaving a rating and review so other educators like yourself can find this content and benefit from it. And here’s an exclusive opportunity that I mentioned at the start of the show. If you wanna meet the guest on today’s episode, if you wanna meet any of the guests that we have interviewed, consider going to www.highperformingeducator.com and signing up to join the exclusive network. You’ll have access to networking events throughout 2021 and other special opportunities. And I promise I will not fill your inbox. Talk to you soon. I’ll see you on the next episode.

Join the Educator Network & Connect with Ryan Keliher

The High Performing Educator Podcast was brought to life during the outbreak of COVID-19 to provide you with inspirational stories and practical advice from your colleagues in education.  By tuning in, you will hear the stories and ideas of the world’s brightest and most ambitious educators.  You can expect interviews with Principals, Teachers, Guidance Counsellors, National Student Association, Directors and anybody that works with youth. You can find and listen to all the episodes for free here.